Fun Stuff

Summary of Life

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can´t baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don´t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don´t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can´t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don´t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can´t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don´t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you´re sad is Grandpa´s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don´t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today´s mighty oak is just yesterday´s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It´s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you´re down there.
4) You´re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
5) It´s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it´s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don´t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.