PARAPROSDOKIANS...(Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. 1. Where there´s a will, I want to be in it.... 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it´s still on my list.3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.4. If I agreed with you, we´d both be wrong.5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.8. They begin the evening news with ´Good Evening,´ then proceed to tell you why it isn´t.9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.12. In filling out an application, where it says, ´In case of emergency, notify:´ I put ´DOCTOR.´13. I didn´t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.18. Money can´t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.19. There´s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can´t get away.20. I used to be indecisive. Now I´m not so sure.21. You´re never too old to learn something stupid.22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.23. Nostalgia isn´t what it used to be.24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.25. Going to church doesn´t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 26. Where there´s a will, there are relatives.