She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter as she´d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, ´But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!´
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, ´62.´ He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, ´Did you start at 1?´
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, ´ Who was THAT?´
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. ´We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.´ The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, ´I sure wish I´d gotten to know you sooner!´
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, ´Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?´ I mentally polished my halo while I asked, ´No, how are we alike?´ ´You´re both old,´ he replied.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather´s computer keyboard. She told him she was writing a story. ´What´s it about?´ he asked. ´I don´t know,´ she replied. ´I can´t read.´
I didn´t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, ´Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!´
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, ´It´s no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.´
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, ´Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.´ The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. ´That´s interesting,´ she said, ´ how do you make babies?´ ´It´s simple,´ replied the girl. ´You just change ´y´ to ´i´ and add ´es´.´
Children´s Logic: ´Give me a sentence about a public servant,´ said a teacher. The small boy wrote: ´The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.´ The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. ´Don´t you know what pregnant means?´ she asked. ´Sure,´ said the young boy confidently. ´It means carrying a child.´
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog´s duties. ´They use him to keep crowds back,´ said one child. ´No,´ said another, ´he´s just for good luck.´ A third child brought the argument to a close. ´They use the dogs,´ she said firmly, ´to find the fire hydrants.