If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children´s science exam answers :
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!) A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen) A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula? A: A small lie.
Q: What does ´varicose´ mean? (I do love this one...) A: Nearby .
Q: Give the meaning of the term ´Caesarian Section.´ A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word ´benign´ mean?´ A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ´crocodile?´ GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L´ TEACHER: No, that´s wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it´s H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn´t have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me!
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I´m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ´I.´ MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, ´I am´ MILLIE: All right... ´I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father´s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn´t punish him? LOUIE: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don´t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ´My Dog´ is exactly the same as your brother´s. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It´s the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.