Life after Death "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother´s funeral, she stopped in to see you!
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the fami ly returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus´ head as he walked by." "Wouldn´t you know it," the boy fumed, "the one Sunday I don´t go, he shows up!"
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children´s sermon; he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What´s in here?" "I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!!"
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daugh ter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "I´m surprised at you. Don´t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" mom smiled and then replied... "I remember!!"
Little Davie watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face "why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What´s the matter?" asked little Davie. "Giving up? "
_____________________________________________ Holding On
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, "39 and holding." Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"